Friends or Enemies?

Hi everyone I know this doesn’t directly go with the topic of the blog but I had to get this off my chest I promise I’ll tie it all into the topic of the blog somehow.  I have recently lost a very near and dear friend.  She was my best friend.  We were basically joined at the hip before she got a new boyfriend and now she won’t even talk to me.  She even said i wasn’t a true friend.  It hurts even more when I read certain books and think, “why can’t my friendship be like theirs?” or “I wish I had a best friend like that.”  She thought it was funny when I told her exactly how I felt about her boyfriend.  I would love to reconcile our friendship, but I don’t want it to go back to the way it was before with her ditching me for her boyfriend and always fighting about things.  I want my old best friend back.  The one who I could tell anything to and joke around with, not the one who got mad at me for stupid reasons.  I can’t even remember how many times I’ve sat in my room at night and cried because my friendship with this girl went from complete amazingness to complete nothingness in less than a week.  I would work this out with her if she would take the time to actually talk to me instead of ignoring me completely.  I don’t know if I will ever get my best friend back and that kills me inside, but it is what it is and I can’t do anything about it until she’s ready to get passed it with me.  She is now the 4th friend I have lost in the past 3 years.  I’m tired of losing friends because of stupid reasons.  I’m done trusting people period.  I’m quiet and by myself for a reason, I can’t get hurt if I don’t talk to anyone about things.  Granted I do have a few people I do call my friends, but I like being alone sometimes just so I know I won’t be hurt by the ones I thought cared about me.

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